Your browser has been talking about you.
Every website you open gets told things about you. Quietly, automatically, before you click anything. I asked yours. It told me everything.
reading you in 10s
The camera extras read your pulse and blinks, on your device. Nothing is recorded or uploaded.
That's what your browser handed over in two seconds. Want the full roast?
roasting you in 10s
class check
Post it on X
You
One web page learned all that in a minute. Imagine what leaks from a work laptop nobody's looking after.
I'm Ugochukwu I, a Modern Workplace Specialist. My day job is the other side of this page: locking down company laptops and phones so they give away as little as possible. I've rolled Windows 11 out to 600+ devices in phased rings with Intune, moved an NHS-aligned organisation from Group Policy to cloud policy, built a security baseline for a bank, and switched on Attack Surface Reduction rules that stop malicious macros and scripts.
Everything this page actually read about you, and where it came from. The jokes and the wealth score aren't evidence: they're opinion.
| Reading | Where it came from |
|---|
How did it know all that?
Every line marked DETECTED is a real reading, taken from information your browser gives every website automatically: your clock, your device, your battery, your graphics chip, your network, where you came from. Everything else (the jokes, the verdict and the wealth score) is my opinion, for fun.
It all ran on your device. No analytics, no cookies, no tracking. The live feed only gets your country, your verdict, your class score and your phone family, with no name and nothing that could identify you. Your country and internet provider come from a one-off lookup of your connection; your IP address isn't saved anywhere. The provider's name is added to an anonymous running total for the network leaderboard, never linked to you. It never works out or shows your city.
Share links carry your result inside the link itself, so the preview can show your card. Nothing about the link is stored. Anyone you send it to can see what's in it, including the name you typed.
The camera is the only permission this site will ever ask for, and only if you tap "Add the camera extras". Face tracking (blinks, smiles, pulse) runs on your device with Google's MediaPipe. No picture or video is ever uploaded.
Provider data: IP to ASN Lite by DB-IP, used under CC BY 4.0.